Speaking of Lenovo, Ars Technica on the new ‘PC Does What?’ ad campaign to take on Apple:

You’ve got to feel for the PC. While there’s no denying its practicality or gaming chops, ever since IBM dropped the first beige box of PC joy on the world over three decades ago, the PC has never really managed to be cool—and for the likes of Intel, Microsoft, HP, Dell, and Lenovo fighting against a declining market that’s a problem.

So the five of them have teamed up to take on Apple and make the PC cool again, or at least encourage people to upgrade from their five-year-old PCs—of which Intel says there are over 500 million out there—to shiny new laptops with touch-screens, and thin metal enclosures, and longer battery life. The result of their collective marketing prowess is the “PC Does What?” campaign, a collection of short TV ads set to run in the US and China in the coming months.

They’re as cheesy as I expected.

Lenovo won’t be selling Microsoft’s Surface Pro 3:

Dell and HP decided to start selling Microsoft’s Surface Pro 3 tablet last month, but Lenovo was curiously absent. Gianfranco Lanci, president and COO at Lenovo, has revealed that the PC maker refused to sell Microsoft’s tablet. “I said no to resell their product,” Lanci told attendees at the Canalys Channels Forum, reports The Register. He explained that Microsoft “asked me more than one year ago, and I said no I don’t see any reason why I should sell a product from within brackets, competition.”

Why the fuck would they ever consider selling Microsoft’s products?

Eat a Scooby snack and take disco nap
Because I’m shopping at Sears, cause I don’t buy at the Gap

—Alright Hear This, Beastie Boys

You know when you’re fading off at work because you’re tired? If you’re like me, you don’t have any safe, comfortable place to go to take a disco nap so you can power through the rest of your day.

If you work in downtown SF like me, now you do.

My friend (and former coworker) Brandon quit his job and launched his own business here in San Francisco called Doze.

How it works:

• book a sleeping pod
• put on a pair of Bose, noise-cancelling headphones (or use your own)
• recline to your desired position
• close your weary eyes and recharge
• pay what you want (for the Basic level)

When your time is up, the interior of the pod ‘dome’ slowly glows brighter and brighter and returns you to an upright position. I test drove one myself and it was great.

Oh, and the first time is free.

I’m really proud of Brandon because he did this all on his own without any investors or backers. It all came out of his own pocket. That takes balls. I also love that he’s he solving a problem he’s had himself. Those are always make the best projects and businesses.

So check it out.

Donald

For the seventh year in a row, my friend, editor, and DE contributor Bryan is doing his October Horrorshow, publishing one horror movie review each day, for the entire month.

Here’s the full archive.

You officially have no excuse for scary movie options.

Update: I should give a few recommendations. For a newer movie, I suggest It Follows and for an oldie, I suggest Hellraiser.

31 Horror Days

via Coudal

Sam Byford, at the Verge, on Microsoft’s limited time trade-in program:

Microsoft has launched a promotion called Easy Trade Up designed to get people to switch to new Windows 10 machines. If you buy a qualifying computer from the Microsoft Store for over $599 until October 20th, the company will give you a rebate after you send in your old laptop or all-in-one — you’ll get $200 for a Windows computer, and $300 for a MacBook. Your trade-in computer has to be under six years old and in working order with a minimum display size of 11.6 inches. The offer is running in the US, UK, Canada, India, Brazil, France, Germany, and Taiwan.

Paying people to buy their new products. Has Apple ever had to do this? (No they, haven’t)

Microsoft likes paying people to use their stuff. Most recently, they paid the NFL $400 million to use their Surface tablets.

And:

This kind of promotion is a tactic Microsoft uses pretty frequently when it wants to juice sales.

PC sales have been plunging and Microsoft’s mobile marketshare hasn’t moved much.

So much for “juicing”.

I finally got around to watching Microsoft’s Windows 10 Devices Event (nope, they’ve haven’t shaken their addiction to long names). What i saw is a company just discovering all the amazing things that that are possible when you design hardware and software together. The presenters seemed drunk giddy with excitement showing off all their products. And why shouldn’t they?! Proudness is what happens when a team comes together and makes something great. Check us out. We made this. Together. And it’s awesome.

The Only Way Out Is Through

I wonder how many current and former Microsoftians are kicking themselves for not owning the full hardware/software stack sooner, like Apple. You know what? Scratch that. Probably very few. Hindsight is 20/20.

The truth is Microsoft had to go through this journey of licensing a powerful yet tasteless and derivative operating system, and robust office suite, to corporations for decades—leveraging their weight and muscle when necessary—until the day they realized they were not equipped to make truly “personal” and mobile computing experiences people would love to use inside and outside the office.

Once Microsoft had this realization—this is after Ballmer dismissed the original iPhone as a threat—Apple’s iPhone and iPad trojan horses had already infiltrated corporate America. I saw it firsthand as a design consultant for Bloomberg in Manhattan in 2008-9. I watched senior VPs roll into meeting with iPads on their laps while we presented our work. In the past (pre-iPhone) corporate IT departments could shoo off the occasional request for pesky Mac assistance, but you can’t pull that shit when C-suite men and women are ordering you to, “get my iPad and iPhone on our network. NOW.”

Hey Guys, They Get It!

It’s taken Microsoft 40 years to realize the true potential of their software. They’re not turning a blind eye and hoping OEMs make the best hardware they can possibly make.

Microsoft now understands why Apple has been spending all these years monkeying with stupid bezels, clickwheels, and aluminum finishes, and designing not just thoughtful but beautiful software experiences. Microsoft now wants to make their own multitouch screens and keyboard cases and styli that communicate and integrate seemlessly with their operating system. If I had to give Microsoft a new tagline it would be: We Finally Get It (hat tip to The Motherfucking Editor).

Panos Panay did a great job as the main presenter. You could feel how genuinely proud he was of all the hard work that went into their Bands, Lumias and Surfaces and the how well the software was integrated into the hardware. Seeing him on stage bragging about the thinness of the new Surface and the feel of the new keyboard covers, I felt as though I was watching a company graduating from Apple Boot Camp. He showed off their new ads throughout the presentation, just like Apple has been doing for decades. He held up his Lumia phone to the audience. When he handed out Surface Pros, I was reminded of Steve Jobs handing out empty, unibody MacBook Pro shells in 2008 (jump to the 24:50 mark).

I don’t follow sports but I but shamelessly consider myself on Team Apple and I indulge in any and all Microsoft schadenfreude I can get. I despise the old, 800-pound gorilla version of Microsoft but I am slowly coming around as I see them taking product design seriously and not muscling their way into market segments just because they can.

It feels good to see your team on a winning streak, but it’s even better to see them up against a worthy opponent who gives them a run for their money. 

We’re seeing a glimpse of that with the new Microsoft.

Sometimes Enough Is Not Enough

Despite all the huge strides Microsoft has made in the last few years to reinvent itself and adapt to the changing tech landscape I’m not convinced it’s enough get what they want.

Actually, what do they want?

Do they want to regain the size and influence they once had in the software world? Highly unlikely. The world was much smaller when Microsoft ruled to the roost. There was no Google, no Apple and none of the numerous small-to-medium size technology companies all over the world creating amazing hardware and software. Can and will they continue to contribute? Absolutely.

If they’ve come to terms with the fact that they’ll never be the giant they once were, are they truly committed to building amazing, integrated software and hardware experiences, potentially at the expense of unit sales?

This last question is tricky to answer because although they’ve graduated from Apple Boot Camp and fancy themselves newly minted product design Jedis, they don’t live in Apple’s world. They’re still licensing Windows to OEMs like Dell, Lenovo and HP.

This is akin to Porsche building the best cars they can possible make and also licensing their engines and name to Kia, Hyundai and Toyota. 

This last, very minor point around Windows licensing tells me Microsoft hasn’t pushed all its chips in.

Microsoft finally gets it.

Or do they?

Chris Ziegler at the Verge on Tesla’s announcement:

At a press event today, Tesla announced the release tomorrow of version 7.0 of the Model S software, a big, widely anticipated new build that finally enables the car’s self-driving features. Those capabilities were first announced last year and the necessary sensors were added to all Model S cars that have rolled off the assembly line since last September, but Tesla has needed additional time to flesh out the algorithms, which it has been testing this year. The 7.0 release starts in the US on a rolling basis tomorrow, and will proceed to Europe and Asia in the coming weeks pending regulatory approval; the Model X shouldn’t be far behind, since it has the same sensors in place.

Incredible. The technology of tomorrow keeps getting closer faster and faster.

Tesla’s cars wouldn’t be possible if they didn’t control both the hardware and software (they also value software much more than many other car makers).

—Valerie Jarrett, Offices of Intergovernmental Affairs and Public Engagement

I’ll bet it doesn’t stink down there, either.

Following up my last post regarding tits (or lack of), Patrick Kurp has some great sources for synonyms for “drunk”:

My boss subscribes to Harper’s, and every few months she brings me a stack. In the January 2015 issue, in the section called “Readings,” is a glossary nicely titled “Alcoholics Synonymous,” which lists twenty-four slang terms used by British students to describe “drunkenness or the effect of drugs.” I’ve heard only one of them, “sloshed.” “Swilled,” I assume, is a variation on the verb “to swill.” “Hoovered” is intriguing: president, dam or vacuum cleaner? “Hamstered” is evocative, but the Harper’s list hardly amounts to a sip compared to the ocean accumulated by Paul Dickson in Intoxerated: The Definitive Drinker’s Dictionary (Melville House, 2009). He identifies 2,985 synonyms for “drunk.” A few favorites: “staying late at the office,” “heroic,” “T.U.B.B.” (“tits up but breathing”), “back teeth afloat,” “been too free with Sir John Strawberry” and “Betty Ford-ed.” Call it folk poetry, much of it better than what passes for the certified stuff.

T.U.B.B.

I like that one.

News came yesterday that Playboy with no longer be publishing nude photos of women in their magazine.

As a tribute, I’d like to share my two favorite Playmates (NSFW):

First is the January 1979 Playmate (and also 25th Anniversary Playmate), Candy Loving.

Second is the December 1968 Playmate, Cynthia Myers.

From Vice:

Photographer Max Siedentopf has no idea who the cars in his photos belong to. What he did know the second he saw them, is that they were in dire need of an upgrade.

—Combustion Chamber Approved—

via Coudal