Good morning, Internet world. I thought I’d start the day off with a family-friendly post.
China bans ‘erotic’ banana-eating live streams:
Chinese live-streaming services have banned people filming themselves eating bananas in a “seductive” fashion.
New regulations mean that live-streaming sites must monitor all their output round-the-clock to ensure nothing untoward is going on, keeping an eye out for any “erotic” banana-eating, according to New Express Daily. It’s not just fruit that’s on their radar though – the paper adds that wearing stockings and suspenders while hosting a live stream is now also forbidden.
This story is from the BBC’s ‘News From Elsewhere’ section.
What a name for a category.
Went I saw this story, I couldn’t help but think about a classic George Carlin bit (YouTube) from his standup special, Doin’ It Again (1990):
As long as I’m being a complete pig up here, let me ask you guys a question.
Let me ask one question of the men. Are you ever able to watch a woman eating a banana and NOT think about a blowjob?
I can’t do it. And I know why: I’m a sick, evil fuck! I admit that!
I can’t do it! Eating a banana, eating a pickle, licking on an ice cream cone. I’m thinking to myself “LOOK AT THE TOUNGE ON HER! WOW!”
So ladies, be careful when you’re standing out in front of that Häagen-Dazs. ‘Cause God damn it, we’re watching. And God damn it, we’re thinking!
C’mon, China. Reconsider.