My Aunt Judy is whipping my ass at Words With Friends time after time and it’s fucking pissing me off.

The problem is, I’m not playing her on the inside as much as I should. When I say ‘inside’ I mean playing tight combos in between existing words, not extending new words out vertically or horizontally into the void. Every time I even come one block short of a double or triple word block, she takes it.

I’m an educated man. College degree. I’ve read John Updike. I can parse XML.

My lexicon can’t be that much smaller than hers, can it? “It’s not the words, Mike, it’s how you use them. I mean, look at Hemingway.” Yeah, yeah. Spare me.

I feel like Fredo in The Godfather II, ‚ÄúIt ain’t the way I wanted it! I can handle things! I’m smart! Not like everybody says… like dumb… I’m smart and I want respect!‚Äù

A few years ago I watched a 60 Minutes episode where they interviewed Tiger Woods. He said no matter the activity, he hates losing.

I know how he feels.

Let’s do this. Enough already.