My blood-sch├Ądenfreude level was getting low. Thanks, Bill.

[Update: I should have know I was Onion-rolled. This New Yorker piece is fake. Still funny.]
Andy Borowitz, for The New Yorker:

A Microsoft spokesman said only that Mr. Gates’s first day in his new job had been “a learning experience” and that, for the immediate future, he would go back to running Windows 7.
Is this not a perfect metaphor for Microsoft?
via parislemon