Chuck Mindenhall on Fedor Emelianenko’s loss to Ryan Bader this past Saturday night in Bellator:

It’s an unofficial statistic, but MMA is something like 0-for-4,563 when it comes to giving its fighters storybook endings. The latest to get a shot was Fedor Emelianenko, who at 42 years old was trying to become Bellator’s heavyweight champion on Saturday night at Bellator 214, against all odds and decorum. Had he beat Ryan Bader to close out the Heavyweight Grand Prix — had the old Emperor successfully stormed the West one last time — he could have gotten the hell out and left all the authors of his legacy scrambling for the right superlatives.

Instead, he got smashed by a left hand. Worse, he barely reacted to that inbound left as it made its way towards his face. When the punch landed, the light flickered in the attic and his blue eyes went to some distant spot on the horizon. Bader wasted little time in blasting him again after he fell. And then again, just for good measure.

Total bout time: 35 seconds.

Total groans of sadness: 3,298,470.

Mindenhall is (unfortunately) getting good at writing about once-great fighters falling before they retire.

If you’re not familiar with Fedor’s career in MMA, do yourself a favor and check out one of his highlight reels.

Inside Trump’s shutdown turnaround:

His poll numbers were plummeting. His FBI director was decrying the dysfunction. The nation’s air travel was in chaos. Federal workers were lining up at food banks. Economic growth was at risk of flatlining, and even some Republican senators were in open revolt.

So on Friday, the 35th day of a government shutdown that he said he was proud to instigate, President Trump finally folded. After vowing for weeks that he would keep the government closed unless he secured billions in funding for his promised border wall, Trump agreed to reopen it.

He got $0 instead.

Trump’s capitulation to Democrats marked a humiliating low point in a polarizing presidency and sparked an immediate backlash among some conservative allies, who cast him as a wimp.

Elected as a self-proclaimed master dealmaker and business wizard who would bend Washington to his will and stand firm on his campaign promises — chief among them the wall — Trump risks being exposed as ineffective.

“He was the prisoner of his own impulse and it turned into a catastrophe for him,” said David Axelrod, who was a White House adviser to President Barack Obama. “The House of Representatives has power and authority — and now a speaker who knows how to use it — so that has to become part of his calculation or he’ll get embarrassed again.”

The dog learns to heel.

News came last week that Alphabet’s health division, Verily, got clearance from the FDA to test the EKG feature on their smartwatch. Remember, last year Apple introduced this feature on the Apple Watch Series 4.

Anyway, that’s not the follow-the-leader news that caught my eye. It was the watch photo featured in the Verge story. It reminded me of a watch I had seen before:

The reason I know about the Suunto Lumi is because I bought one and wrote a blog post on it in 2009.

Everything is a remix.

At the end of 2015 I dedicated my Instagram account exclusively to all the old cars I spot on the streets of San Francisco (photographing old cars is a hobby bordering on an addiction).

Then in the summer of 2018 decided to compile them into a hardcover book (layout in InDesign, retouching in Lightroom). Now the book is ready to be printed up on Kickstarter.

It’s been a labor of love. If love old cars, or San Francisco, or both, check out my project. It’s called Cars in the Wild: San Francisco.

Aggrieved Tesla Owners Can Just Tow Trucks Blocking The Supercharger Stations:

Tesla drivers calls it “ICE-ing”, after the initials for internal combustion engine: It’s where gasoline- and diesel-powered vehicles block access to Superchargers as a way to… protest electric vehicles I guess? It has to be frustrating to be barred from obtaining the single thing your car needs to function, but it looks like Tesla owners are looking at new ways to fight back.

The owners of those trucks are assholes.

The response by Tesla owners is great for two reasons. First, they’re able to tow the trucks from the charging station spots, thus (somewhat) solving the problem. Second, the douchebag truck owners are reminded who has more torque.

Netflix warns against Bird Box challenge as dangerous trend goes viral:

Netflix has warned fans against participating in a potentially dangerous online challenge that’s inspired by its recent original horror film Bird Box.

The challenge takes the core concept of Bird Box — wearing a blindfold at all times while wandering around outside — and applies it to a certain period of time. Some people, like YouTube creator Morgan Adams, have tried to go about their daily lives for 24 hours while blindfolded, while others have attempted the challenge for a shorter period.

Netflix’s social media team called out the challenge on Twitter, asking people to not hurt themselves while performing the act.

Seems I already have contenders for my 2019 Darwinism Awards.

Yay humans!